merovence: tigertails

tigrtails tigertails





* zany Paris

not even that freaking County!
end of discourse.











- asteroids, and millipede


INT. REBEL BASE - COMMAND CENTER

Apart from the distant thunder of laser blasts, the corridor is
strangely quiet and empty. Running footsteps echo through the freezing
hallway, then Han appears. Cracks have appeared in some of the walls
and some pipes have broken, sending hot steam billowing into the
underground hallways. Han hurries into the command center. It is a
shambles, but some people are still at their posts. As he enters, a
gigantic cave-in almost obliterates the room. He finds Leia and
Threepio near one of the control boards.

HAN
You all right?

Leia nods. She is surprised to see him.

LEIA
Why are you still here?

HAN
I heard the command center had been hit.

LEIA
You got your clearance to leave.

HAN
Don't worry. I'll leave. First I'm going to get you to your ship.



Han grabs her and starts to lead her out.







ROMEO:
O, I am fortune's fool!














Ooh, my head is spinnin'
You got me in your spell,
A hundred magic fingers
On a whirling carousel



The medicine within me
No doctor could prescribe
Your love is doing something
That I just can't describe







dusty scrolls...


~ Shire, Interior
October 22, 2007

"well," lady morgan told Arnold quietly, "do have him wait in the Main Vault. we'll be upon him shortly."

*

as the doors to the Vault opened slowly, morgan was led into the room a bit unprepared for visitors, but certainly ready enough for this one. hand together with rob's, she walked into the hall, a little reluctant and trailing a bit behind him, but made it, most certainly, to this impromptu meeting.

the Great Pumpkin was seated Over There, at the far side of the Round Table, okay well not actually the actual far side, but maybe at about 11 O'Clock, you might say. He was properly attired for a day at court and left nothing out of the wistfulness and glean about him as he stroked the surface of that mighty table with a delicate touch and a bit of a thirstful lusting.

"first time sitting at The Table?" offered robert as a greeting equally imprompt.

up sprang the Great Pumpkin, almost to a stance of Attention. "Lord Robert, Mi'Lady, happily I meet with you on this day." and with a bit of a bow, was allowed to chill it down to normalcy by morgan who simply stated, "you are most welcome to join us at The Table anytime, monsieur, for as you can see by its delicate figure, it is, by nature, most certainly headless," and they joined him with handshake and a kiss on the cheek, respectively, and adjourned from any more formality to speak as kinfolk.

"sandra," began the pumpkin, "I have with me the plan that you requested. it's been drafted and is ready to take up." And he pulled a lengthy cylindrical carton out from underneath his cape. And handed it to lady morgan, simply stating, "your parchment."

without hesitation, she pivoted a bit pirouette to face her love, passed him the parcel and echo'd, "your parchment," with you see, a bit of emphasis on the word "your."

"What's this?"
"oh, it's a present for you."
And the occasion...?
who needs an occasion. open it!

off popped the end of the tube, slid out the parchment, which robert unrolled and spread out upon the Table. "sit your ass up here and tell me what we have here," and so she did. looking glibly at the Pumpkin then leaning over to point of every little detail of The Plan, as it were, ever so nicely laid to parch by the draftkeep, for her, for him, by it, as it was, at her request.

"is it in your favor, mi'lord?" she finished.
"i love it. sounds like a plan to me. thank you, baby."
and she smiled, and preened, a bit cheshire, as it were.

nobody would notice him pull her ever so friskily close to him for a nuzzle and a bit of a peck. nobody, except The Pumpkin, who certainly blushed a bit and declared, "I see you are pleased with my efforts. Happy to bring good tidings. For now, I take my leave." and he bowed, exited, and slammed shut the door behind him.

Alone. in the vault. a table bare except for the cheeks of his maiden, lord robert muttered a bit under his breath, close to her cheek about next to her ear. "I have a plan of my own to spread about this table," and pulling on the Tassel which fastened her violet robe, he made her remember to be free..."

(fade to black)







October 16, 2007
~ A sausage roll walks into a pub...

A sausage roll walks into a pub, walks up to the bar - barman says,
"We don't serve food here."

lol. one more?

A mangy-lookin' guy goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "No way. I don't think you can pay for it." The guy says "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says "Only if what you show me ain't risque." "Deal!" says the guy, as he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down a barstool, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing Gershwin songs.

And the hamster is really good. The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Money or another miracle else no drink," says the bartender. (continues a bit below)


*

...and lady morgan stood on her makeshift stage, down beyond the dust bunnies at the far end of The Attic, decked out in couture fatale, with dagger in her hand, and declared, "I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love."

"um, so that's Blake, now, isn't it?" asserted rob from his beanbag chair a bit out in the center of the floor.

"Shh. no heckling. it gets better."

"That's my dagger isn't it?"

"You told me I could use it."

"That was just for that one night. You need to return that to me. It's government issue."

"It is not. Is it? knights don't get to keep their gear?"

"Hand it over," up he went right onto the platform, no decorum! and the chase ensued...

Around the room and back to the stage where she jumped as high as she could to keep it from his grasp. Of no avail, snagged right from out of her paws.

"I have an idea," said the lord to his lady, "I'll trade you the dagger for the rest of the play."

"Um?" she muttered, confused, until he said,

"Take the offer, you nut," and handing his dagger back to her, he smiled and finished, "you are by far the sweetest little actress ever to write me a play; I wouldn't miss it for anything."

and so, they played on, together.


*


The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch, a fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the frog to the stranger, who runs out of the bar with it. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut?! You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy!" "Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist!"



*





October 10, 2007
~ that Chase Scene: Spyhunter in Double Latte Mochachinos (la version editee ;)

only the most ridiculous parts of the following story are true:


rob: okay. now. go.
go go go.

the lady, morgan: omg! that was close. jiminy effing crickets.

got any more bright ideas? remind me next time to stick to the plot.

I tried, robert, I tried. I just want it. come on. we're half-way to the portcullis.

fine. according to this surveillance data - you spent how much for? -

3 pence and a quill that belonged to the actual will shakespeare.

right.

I just want it.

fine. well, supposedly, the guard will take leave of his post in about 3 or 4 minutes. when that happens, you need to listen to every little bit of movement everywhere. if you hear anything at all that could be a footstep - anything at all - you freeze dead in your tracks and spur yourself down. do you understand me? I'll take care of it.

"yah," she said softening a bit, her hair getting curled all dainty'ish around her finger as she swooned into his courage and...

(ooops, she's not paying attention anymore.)

morgan. not now. later.
okay. go -

and the two of them began to creep on tippytoes like the catburglar and the pink panther himself, barely touching afoot to the ground, as they alit over to the edge of the brick patio and up and over the railing to stand next to the portcullis, barely able to be outside any longer; that's how close they were to making it into the breach.

"we did it!" exclaimed morgan with a hushed whispered yelp. "omg. my heart is really pounding really fast. you think I'm gonna die from fright?"

well I hope not. now. are you ready. are you ready for the rest?

yah, shoot.

okay. ready?

yah. I said yah.

you are going to stay right here, and guard the door.

WTF!?! no f'ing way. no f'g way. this is my adventure. gawd dang you.

I am going for the treasure.

but --

morgan.

fine, whatever.

take my dagger, it's sharper than yours.

at least give me your sword.

you can't even lift the sword. what're ya gonna do? dazzle them with it's loveliness?

fine. (long dramatic sigh) I like using your knife, too. jerk.

jerk?

I mean, (longer sigh to let her slip back to her self) thank you for taking the risk so I don't have to (looking preeningly well taken care and kissing him on the cheek). don't forget to leave the gold coins on the table when you take the box, or we will surely suffer recompense for this action.

I understand. you scream really loud if anybody comes. okay?

ok. be careful. promise me you'll be careful.

"I'll be right back," he said, kissing her forehead and placing his dagger in her hand.

and... so he was... next seen running back down the side passage stairs with her damnable prize in his arms. running at a breakneck pace. and was upon her spot in the doorframe before she even had time to puzzle over the circumstance - he kept running, right by her in a way, grabbing her wrist as he went past, yanking her into flight, screaming back to her - RUN!!!

and so they ran. he had firm grip on her and pulled her along faster than anybody could ever imagine her feet taking her through the air. and close behind them both - in desperate pursuit - was perhaps the nastiest, drooliest, grungiest, grossest pair of evil beasts ever summoned to guard a treasure. the dogs at bay were both upon them. On Her Heels. fast they ran (we effing booked) out past the guard house, beyond the moat, over the hill, way out into the yard and with a panther leap, robert was up on the chain link fence, the priceless box catapulted up and over the barricade to freedom, with rob struck hung up on the fence like a cougar in a tree, grabbing the lady morgan by both wrists this time and just literally pulling her ass up off the ground onto that very same fence where she clung for dear life. the dogs at the ground level of that very same fence jumping and barking their vicious crazy f'ing drooling f'ing heads off, yapping and nipping with big fangly gross yellow'd gnarly teeth, at their heels.

morgan: panting uncontrollably, gasping for breath

robert: you okay? you made it, you're okay.

"you (gasp gasp) threw the effing box, dear. are you crazy!?" and she scrambled up and glid down the other side of the fence, dropping to her knees to inspect the golden, with inlaid bronze and silver crescents, box full of her take. "it's okay. it didn't break."

"thank me later," said rob as he jumped to the ground behind her. "get going. go to the car... now!"

yes! yet more intrusion to take leave from as the guard had apparently resumed his post and was headed this-away with torch and steel to assert himself upon whatever the dogs had cornered by the Gate to The Hills.

with get-away car in sight, the two didn't stop their run until they were in the car. doors shut, engine going. peel-out. morgan held tight to her box, and the lord sir robert took over the driving now causing the car to run at the same harried speed. we drove for about 15 minutes, fast and straight into the interior of the wood. and then stopped. engine off. "we can't get any more remote than this for now. sit tight and we'll try to make it to safety in about an hour. they should find the coins and feel suitably compensated, if your f'ing plan works out okay. we'll make it back home safely. you hear hear that word, sandy? it's safely. I've had enough of you risking your life. that's it. no more stupid risks. if you need it badly enough, I'll take it on myself. you're done. D - O - N - E with battle. do you understand me?

but -

what?

"yah, robert. i do." then heaving into her part a bit more, she shrilly let into: "omg! we could have been killed. did you see those dogs? omg!! they would have actually bit me. or I could have tripped and fell into the river! and then got eaten in the river by the snakes and eels! not to mention that guard! I think he had a rifle! I was so afraid! I do hate battle. I really really do. I'll be safer, I promise."

fine. (a nice length pause here) you like the box?

I love it! thank you. (she cooed)








August 28, 2007


one drop of verbana, a bit of lavendar. oh rose petals would be blissful. um... maybe a touch of vanilla? what do you think, pacino? a little too much vanilla?

apaches says, in due time, not a thing, but rubs up against the big oak store box with his muzzle and crawls back into the cavern he calls home these days, twirls his bod about 2 to 2 times then settles back to rest.

what a little sweet potato, morgan muses, then returns to grinding her potent blend down flat and smooth with mortar and pestle.

this should make for a soothing break from all that work and toil. did you draw the water, yet, lise?

up to the half-point, mi'lady. I've left the rest to boil upon the pike until the final notion of need, for maximum temp.

excellent. thank you so much lisette, you can go back to sleep now, too.

'night, morgan.

goodnight. and upon her departure, once quite sure she has footed her way clear down the hall... the sound of her footsteps departing... morgane begins to recite:

with fire and swath and a bit of tincture my most pleasant passtime is coddling of yours...

and the melody passes out the window, and down the way just a bit, and is caught by the ear of her dear lord, who hops down from the steed who seems a bit shaggied down as well. a moment or so later, he decends upon her stoop, and is up into the big dim room she calls her Arch. "mi'lady."

without contention, she swoops upon his hearth and removes his breastplate, and then takes his battered shield.

oh, robert, just look at your bloody shield!

what? are you british now, lassie?

she giggles a bit and sighs. "hop on into the bath. I've prepared a very special blend of the best love in the world. lavendar. you'll love it.

lavendar huh?

and so the night passes small.





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